Here’s a Trauma-Informed “Trust Radar” Cheat Sheet you can use to read emotions, feelings, and behavioral signals in real time, staying grounded and aware:

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Trauma-Informed Trust Radar

1. Presence

Signal	What to Notice	Healthy vs. Red Flag
Calmness in proximity	Are they relaxed or tense around you?	Healthy: Steady, attuned presence; Red flag: jittery, unpredictable, intrusive
Emotional availability	Do they show interest in your state?	Healthy: Responsive, empathetic; Red flag: dismissive, avoidant, or overwhelmed

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2. Consistency Over Time

Signal	What to Track	Interpretation
Meeting commitments	Follow-through on promises	Patterns matter—one-off gestures are not enough
Response under stress	Observe actions when frustrated or challenged	Consistent regulation = safe; explosive or erratic = caution
Respecting boundaries	Honoring your limits	Consistently respected boundaries = safety; repeated violations = danger

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3. Emotional Regulation

Signal	What to Notice	How to Assess
Tone of voice	Steady or fluctuating	Calm and stable = attuned; volatile = dysregulating
Facial micro-expressions	Brief flashes of anger, irritation, care	Watch for congruence with words
Self-soothing	Can they recover after conflict?	Quick recovery = resilience; prolonged dysregulation = stress for you

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4. Reliability of Words vs. Actions

• Words: Inspirational, comforting, hopeful—but may be empty.
• Actions: Tangible, repeatable, measurable.
  Rule: Track patterns in behavior over several interactions; use actions as your evidence.

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5. Your Nervous System Check

Signal	What It Tells You
Gut instinct	Trust your body’s real-time calibration, not just your mind
Heart rate	Ease = safety; racing or tightness = caution
Sleep & rest	Relaxed interactions = restorative; tension = alert mode

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6. Grounding Practices

• Pause before responding to intensity.
• Label your feelings: “I notice I feel anxious/excited/calm.”
• Take small, observable “tests” of trust (e.g., asking for a minor favor, setting a low-stakes boundary).
• Keep a pattern journal: note actions, reactions, and your own feelings.

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💡 Key Principle: Trust is built gradually, through repeated experience and attuned observation, not promises or hope. Your nervous system learns safety through pattern recognition, not words.

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