1. Shock & Survival (Freeze / Numbness)
- Neurobiology: Nervous system in overload, dissociation, numbing, cortisol spike.
- Psychology: disbelief, confusion, denial. “Did this really happen?”
- Behavior: autopilot, going through motions, difficulty recalling events clearly.
2. Anger (Fight Response / Protest Stage)
- Neurobiology: Amygdala + adrenaline dominant, sympathetic system firing.
- Psychology: intense need for justice, recognition, or revenge. “How could they do this?”
- Behavior: venting, confronting, replaying arguments, fantasizing about payback.
- Function: anger signals violation and protects the self by fighting back (internally or externally).
3. Disgust (Moral Rejection / Boundary Stage)
- Neurobiology: Shift from amygdala (threat) to insula (contamination/disgust), less adrenaline, more serotonin modulation.
- Psychology: reclassifying abuser/event as beneath you or toxic. “They’re vile. I want nothing to do with them.”
- Behavior: eye-rolling, cutting contact, gag reflex feelings, abrupt disengagement.
- Function: severs emotional tether — not just fighting them, but rejecting their value.
4. Indifference / Neutrality (Detachment Stage)
- Neurobiology: Prefrontal cortex gains stronger regulation, limbic arousal reduces.
- Psychology: the person/event no longer dominates mental space. “I just don’t care anymore.”
- Behavior: no compulsion to talk about them, stalk them, or justify yourself. If they cross your mind, it passes quickly.
- Function: energy returns to your own life, goals, and identity — not the abuser.
5. Integration & Growth (Post-Traumatic Growth Stage)
- Neurobiology: More balanced stress-response systems, hippocampus stronger in contextualizing the past.
- Psychology: the trauma becomes a chapter, not the whole book. “It shaped me, but it doesn’t define me.”
- Behavior: healthier relationships, advocacy, creativity, or purpose-building.
- Function: reclaiming authorship of your story.
🌱 Key Takeaway
- Anger keeps the wound alive → still engaged with the violator.
- Disgust is the breaking point → brain reclassifies them as contaminant, not combatant.
- Indifference is the freedom point → they no longer occupy emotional bandwidth.
- Integration is the growth point → trauma becomes part of your strength, not your prison.
