Sometimes you meet someone who feels different:
- They calm your nervous system instead of spiking it.
- They bring logic when your mind spirals.
- They see things from another angle, and even if you don’t agree, it feels grounding.
- They check in, they notice when something’s wrong, they show love in ways you’re not used to.
And yet—you’re suspicious. You’re healing. You’re scared.
🧠 Neuroscience:
Your brain remembers past pain. Trauma wires the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) to stay hyper-alert, even when there’s no danger. Safe love feels “unfamiliar,” so your nervous system confuses it with risk. That’s why calm can feel unsettling if chaos was once your normal.
💡 Psychology:
Attachment wounds shape how we receive care. If you’re used to love being conditional, genuine kindness can trigger doubt—“What do they really want?” Healing means learning to tolerate safety and trust without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
✨ The Truth:
Being suspicious doesn’t mean the love is wrong—it means your nervous system is still catching up to your reality. Healthy love might not feel like fireworks; it often feels like peace. The work is learning to let your guard down slowly, so you can see the difference between fear of the past and the safety of the present.
