(Recognising When Abuse Becomes Life-Threatening)

1. Escalating Control

•  Abuser isolates me more (friends, family, finances, mobility).
•  Monitors my phone, social media, movements, or email.
•  Punishes me for asserting boundaries or independence.

2. Verbal & Psychological Threats

•  Threats to harm me if I leave or don’t obey.
•  Threats against children, family, pets, or loved ones.
•  Threats of self-harm or suicide to control me.

3. Physical Warning Signs

•  Shoving, pushing, restraining, blocking doors, or pinning me down.
•  Smashing objects, punching walls, destroying property.
•  Increasing frequency or severity of physical aggression.

4. High-Risk Red Flags 🚩

(If any of these are “yes,” the danger is severe and immediate)

•  Strangulation/choking (even once).
•  Abuser has access to weapons (especially firearms/knives).
•  Stalking (following, showing up uninvited, cyberstalking).
•  Abuser has made explicit threats to kill me.
•  Recent separation or attempt to leave (this is statistically the most lethal time).
•  Abuser uses or abuses drugs/alcohol during rages.
•  Obsessive jealousy or “If I can’t have you, no one will” statements.

5. Gut Feeling

•  I feel constantly unsafe, watched, or trapped.
•  My body is always on alert (heart racing, jumpiness, insomnia).
•  I believe I or my children could be killed.

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✅ How to use this tool:

• One or two “yes” answers = escalating risk.
• Several “yes” answers = serious danger.
• Any of the Red Flag section = urgent, life-threatening danger—seek help immediately.

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🛡 Safety Next Steps

• Trust your intuition: if you feel unsafe, you are unsafe.
• Consider a safety plan (packed bag, code word with friends, escape route).
• Reach out to a domestic violence hotline or shelter (they can help with legal protection orders, safe housing, relocation).
• Document threats, injuries, and incidents safely if possible.

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