(Recognising When Abuse Becomes Life-Threatening)
1. Escalating Control
- Abuser isolates me more (friends, family, finances, mobility).
- Monitors my phone, social media, movements, or email.
- Punishes me for asserting boundaries or independence.
2. Verbal & Psychological Threats
- Threats to harm me if I leave or don’t obey.
- Threats against children, family, pets, or loved ones.
- Threats of self-harm or suicide to control me.
3. Physical Warning Signs
- Shoving, pushing, restraining, blocking doors, or pinning me down.
- Smashing objects, punching walls, destroying property.
- Increasing frequency or severity of physical aggression.
4. High-Risk Red Flags 🚩
(If any of these are “yes,” the danger is severe and immediate)
- Strangulation/choking (even once).
- Abuser has access to weapons (especially firearms/knives).
- Stalking (following, showing up uninvited, cyberstalking).
- Abuser has made explicit threats to kill me.
- Recent separation or attempt to leave (this is statistically the most lethal time).
- Abuser uses or abuses drugs/alcohol during rages.
- Obsessive jealousy or “If I can’t have you, no one will” statements.
5. Gut Feeling
- I feel constantly unsafe, watched, or trapped.
- My body is always on alert (heart racing, jumpiness, insomnia).
- I believe I or my children could be killed.
✅ How to use this tool:
- One or two “yes” answers = escalating risk.
- Several “yes” answers = serious danger.
- Any of the Red Flag section = urgent, life-threatening danger—seek help immediately.
🛡 Safety Next Steps
- Trust your intuition: if you feel unsafe, you are unsafe.
- Consider a safety plan (packed bag, code word with friends, escape route).
- Reach out to a domestic violence hotline or shelter (they can help with legal protection orders, safe housing, relocation).
- Document threats, injuries, and incidents safely if possible.
