Life on my own doesn’t look dramatically different on the outside. I still have the same hobbies. I still spend time alone, doing the things I’ve always done. I’m still paying for my own things, still repairing everything myself, still organizing everything myself. In truth, I’ve always carried these responsibilities.

The difference now is simple but life-changing: I make my own choices, freely.

What’s gone is the constant moaning, the emotional abuse, the guessing games. There’s no more withholding of money, no more demands for receipts to justify my every decision. Most important of all—there is no tiptoeing on eggshells, no bracing for the next outburst, no fear of physical abuse or threats hanging in the air.

And that’s the shift people don’t always see. On the surface, my daily life looks much the same. But psychologically and emotionally, it is an entirely different world. Neuroscience tells us that when someone lives under abuse, the brain is in survival mode: the amygdala is constantly firing, stress hormones are flooding the body, and every small choice feels loaded with danger. Leaving that environment doesn’t erase the chores or the bills, but it removes the terror. It gives the nervous system space to breathe again.

So when people ask me, “How are you?” my answer is simple: I’m doing great, thanks. Because life has gone on just the same—except without abuse. And that makes all the difference.