When you’ve been through abuse, your nervous system learns to spot danger fast. Neuroscience shows that trauma makes the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) hyper-alert. That means emotional “games” hit harder — they don’t just confuse you, they re-trigger your survival system.

Here’s what to look for:

🚩 Red Flags — Game Playing

• Hot and cold behavior: affection one day, distance the next → keeps your nervous system on edge.
• Silent treatment / ghosting → mirrors emotional abuse patterns.
• Mixed signals, keeping you guessing → fuels anxiety and self-doubt.
• Withholding clarity → keeps control in their hands, not yours.

✅ Green Flags — Healthy Love

• Consistency → your brain learns safety through repeated calm, not chaos.
• Clear communication → no guessing, no second-guessing.
• Emotional availability → you feel seen and valued, not invisible.
• Accountability → they own mistakes instead of shifting blame.

✨ Neuroscience teaches us this: your brain rewires through safety. Healthy love regulates the nervous system, reducing hypervigilance, lowering cortisol, and letting the prefrontal cortex (logic, trust, decision-making) work freely again.

💡 After trauma, don’t settle for games that keep your nervous system in survival mode. Choose the relationships that bring your body and mind back to peace.