What matters most isn’t the amount of time but the quality of the time. After trauma — especially relational or intimate trauma — our hearts and nervous systems need space to recalibrate, to learn safety again, and to trust not just others but ourselves.

Here are a few gentle things to consider instead of a fixed timeline:

✨ Emotional safety first.
Do you feel more grounded in yourself than you did during or right after the trauma? Can you notice red flags without second-guessing yourself as much?

✨ Rediscovering who you are.
After trauma, we often lose touch with our wants, our preferences, our joy. It’s important to spend time reconnecting with those parts of yourself before blending your life with someone else’s.

✨ Loneliness vs. readiness.
Wanting connection is natural. But entering a new relationship out of loneliness or fear of being alone can pull you back into unhealthy dynamics. Readiness feels different: it comes from wholeness, not emptiness.

✨ Your body will tell you.
Sometimes your nervous system will let you know — do you feel constantly on edge around the idea of dating, or is there a calm curiosity there? Trust that inner wisdom.

For some people, a few months of intentional healing feels enough. For others, it may take a year, two, or more. There’s no rush, because you are not “falling behind” in life — you’re laying the foundation for love that won’t repeat the old wounds.

💡 A gentle rule of thumb many therapists use: when you can enjoy your own company and feel safe being alone, that’s when you’re most ready to invite someone else in.