The Polyvagal Theory (developed by Dr. Stephen Porges) helps explain how enmeshment feels like survival for some of us — because it is.

When raised in enmeshed or emotionally unpredictable households:

• Your nervous system may associate autonomy with threat.
  (“If I pull away, I’ll be rejected or punished.”)
• You may rely on the “fawn” response — blending, appeasing, people-pleasing — as a form of social survival.
• Your vagus nerve, the main regulator of safety and connection, becomes trained to prioritize external attunement over internal truth.

Healing involves:

• Moving from dorsal vagal (shutdown, collapse) or sympathetic (overactivation) into ventral vagal state — where you can be calm, present, and connected without merging.
• Cultivating body-led boundaries: feeling into what is “too much,” “not enough,” or “just right” in relationships.

🧘 Somatic practices like grounding, orienting, and breathwork paired with cognitive boundaries create the new neural safety to say:
“I can belong without betraying myself.”