But denial can be one of the most powerful psychological defenses. When someone is deeply entrenched in delusion or denial, it’s often not about intelligence or the complexity of the situation, but rather their emotional survival system kicking in. Admitting a painful truth might mean facing guilt, shame, loss, or the crumbling of an identity they’ve built. So they dig their heels in, not because they can’t see, but because they won’t see.

This kind of rigid denial is often rooted in unresolved trauma, narcissistic traits, or a deep fear of vulnerability. It can be maddening to witness — especially when the truth is blatantly obvious to everyone else. You want to shake them and say, “Look! It’s right there!” But they’ve built mental blinders so thick that even the most glaring reality can feel like a threat.

What makes it more frustrating is that these people often weaponize their delusion. They rewrite history, play the victim, gaslight, or manipulate the narrative to preserve their fragile sense of self. And that makes dealing with them feel like banging your head against a brick wall — painful and pointless.

In those moments, it can help to remember: You can’t make someone see what they refuse to see. You can only protect your peace, set boundaries, and refuse to play along in their fantasy.

Would you like to explore some ways to handle or communicate with someone like this without losing your own emotional balance?

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment