By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate

“Hate destroys the hater far more than the hated” captures something deeply human, spiritual, and psychological all at once.

When someone harbors hate, it festers internally. It consumes mental and emotional energy, builds stress, and can lead to both psychological distress and even physical illness. In neuroscience, we know that prolonged negative emotional states like hatred can increase cortisol levels, harm the immune system, and contribute to conditions like heart disease and anxiety disorders. The body quite literally feels the weight of that hate.

Meanwhile, the person being hated might not even be aware of it — or, if they are, they might have already built boundaries or moved on. The hater ends up living in a prison of their own making, obsessing over someone else’s existence, while the other person continues on with their life.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Hate is too great a burden to bear. I have decided to love.” It’s not just poetic; it’s practical and protective. Love, forgiveness, compassion — these aren’t just lofty ideals. They’re keys to peace, clarity, and emotional freedom. Letting go of hate doesn’t mean excusing harm; it means choosing your well-being over being shackled to someone else’s darkness.

Have you come across this quote in something recently? Or is it one of those life truths you’ve found through experience?

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment