By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
There’s a moment in every healing journey when the veil begins to lift.
It doesn’t always happen all at once. Sometimes, it’s a whisper, a lingering feeling that something’s not right. Other times, it’s a lightning bolt—a single event or realization that cracks the illusion wide open. What follows is what many therapists and survivors call the awakening stage.
It’s raw. It’s painful. It’s beautiful.
And it changes everything.
🌒 What Is the Awakening Stage?
The awakening stage is the emotional and psychological moment when you begin to truly see the reality of a situation you’ve been denying, minimizing, or surviving.
It often follows years of self-deception, cognitive dissonance, gaslighting, or emotional suppression. It’s the moment when you can no longer pretend you’re “fine.” You can no longer tell yourself the relationship is healthy. You can no longer tolerate the version of life you’ve been clinging to—because it simply no longer fits.
Awakening is the first deep exhale of truth.
And yes, it can be terrifying.
🧠 What’s Happening in the Brain and Body?
During this stage, your nervous system begins to shift. You’re moving out of long-term survival states—freeze, fawn, or dissociation—and entering into awareness.
This awareness brings clarity, but it also brings a flood of emotion.
You may feel:
- Disorientation (“How did I not see this before?”)
- Anger (“I can’t believe they treated me this way.”)
- Grief (“I lost so much time.”)
- Guilt or shame (“Did I enable this?”)
- Fear (“What happens now that I know the truth?”)
Your amygdala (fear center) might go into overdrive. Your prefrontal cortex (logic and reasoning) is trying to keep up. You might swing between numbness and overwhelm. This is all normal.
You’re not losing your mind—you’re finding your truth. And your body is just trying to catch up.
💔 Why It Hurts So Much
Awakening isn’t just about accepting the truth—it’s about grieving what you thought was true.
This means:
- Mourning the version of someone you believed in
- Grieving the hopes, plans, or life you built around them
- Facing your unmet needs and inner pain
- Realizing the parts of yourself you silenced to survive
It’s the heartbreak of watching the mask fall away—from them, and from you.
And yet, within that heartbreak lies the seed of freedom.
🧘♀️ How to Survive the Awakening Stage
1. Go Slow
This is not a race. You don’t have to make big decisions right away. Let yourself feel. Rest. Cry. Breathe. Write. Allow the waves to come, and trust that they will pass.
2. Ground in the Body
When the mind spins with fear or grief, come back to the body. Place your hand on your chest. Breathe into your belly. Walk barefoot on the ground. Remind your nervous system: I am safe now. I am allowed to know the truth.
3. Name the Truth Out Loud
Whether in therapy, journaling, or with a trusted friend—name what you’re seeing. This helps integrate new awareness into your psyche and anchors you in reality.
Examples:
- “I’m realizing that wasn’t love. It was control.”
- “I see how I kept abandoning myself to feel wanted.”
- “I’ve been surviving for so long—I want to start living.”
4. Create Safety Before Action
Awakening doesn’t mean you have to act immediately. First, create safety. This might mean setting emotional boundaries, gathering support, or planning an exit strategy if you’re still in an unsafe environment.
Clarity is powerful—but only when grounded in stability.
5. Let Go of the Need to Convince Others
Often, when we awaken, we want others to see what we now see. But not everyone is ready. Protect your energy. Your awakening is for you. You don’t need to prove your truth to anyone.
🕊️ Why Awakening Is Sacred
The awakening stage is not the end—it’s the beginning.
It’s the moment you stop betraying yourself.
It’s the moment you step into self-respect.
It’s the moment you stop saying “I’m fine” when you’re breaking.
It’s the moment you reclaim your inner knowing—and begin to rebuild your life from truth, not illusion.
There will be more tears. More healing. But also more light. More peace. More you.
💬 A Reflection for This Stage
“Even though this truth hurts, I trust that I am strong enough to hold it. I am waking up—not because I failed, but because I am finally safe enough to know what’s real.”
🌱 Final Thoughts
If you are in the awakening stage right now, I see you. This moment is vulnerable—but it is also a sacred threshold.
Let your awakening be messy. Let it be human. Let it be yours.
Because every truth you face is a doorway to your freedom.
And on the other side? A life that no longer asks you to shrink, hide, or pretend.
A life that honors the real you.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
