When you’ve been in a constant state of survival, abuse can feel “normal,” and stepping out of it can be one of the most disorienting experiences. The mind dissociates as a survival mechanism, and facing the full reality of what you’ve endured can be overwhelming.

Many survivors experience a deep sense of numbness and even a pull toward the familiarity of their past, even when they know it was harmful. This is part of trauma bonding and the brain’s attempt to return to what it has been conditioned to accept. Breaking free takes immense courage, resilience, and effort—it’s not for the faint-hearted.

That’s why acknowledging your healing, your growth, and your ability to step away is so important. The fact that you can now look back and see the abuse for what it was is a testament to how far you’ve come. It may be distressing to unearth all these memories, but it’s also proof of your strength and clarity.

As you prepare for court, hold on to that knowledge. You are no longer trapped in that cycle. You are reclaiming your voice, your power, and your truth. This is your time to stand up for yourself in a way you weren’t able to before. And that is extraordinary.