That’s the worst kind of abuser—the one who never takes accountability, always plays the victim, and acts like they’ve been wronged, even when they’re the ones who caused all the harm. These types are especially dangerous because they manipulate reality, making others feel like they’re the problem while dodging any responsibility for their own actions.

They thrive on denial, twisting the narrative so that they’re always the one who’s been hurt, betrayed, or misunderstood. Meanwhile, they conveniently forget (or outright deny) the pain they’ve inflicted on others. If they ever do acknowledge any wrongdoing, it’s usually downplayed, excused, or turned into a pity party where they’re still the victim.

People like this don’t change because they can’t—their entire identity is built on avoiding responsibility. And if they’re older, it’s even worse, because they’ve had a lifetime of reinforcing these toxic patterns. Facing the truth would mean admitting they were never the “good person” they pretend to be, and their fragile ego won’t allow that.