That’s the big question—has the harmful behavior truly stopped? And even if it has, has it stopped for the right reasons?
When someone has been abusive, manipulative, or controlling, it’s not enough for them to simply say they’ve changed. Real change takes time, deep self-reflection, and a willingness to take accountability without expecting forgiveness in return.
Signs That Change Is Genuine
If reconciliation is on the table, the person who was restrained should have:
✅ Taken full responsibility—not minimizing, blaming, or twisting the narrative.
✅ Gone through real therapy—not just a few sessions, but actual long-term work.
✅ Respected boundaries—including honoring the restraining order without trying to manipulate the situation.
✅ Shown consistent change over time—not just temporarily to regain access to you.
✅ Expressed remorse without expectation—apologizing sincerely, not as a tactic to win you back.
The Hard Truth About Reconciliation
Even if someone has changed, it doesn’t mean reconciliation is the best choice. You can forgive someone and still keep them out of your life. Your safety, well-being, and peace come first.
If the restraining order was due to abuse, the pattern of harm is deeply ingrained. Abusers often appear reformed for a while, only to revert once they regain control.
Ask Yourself:
- Do I feel safe and in control of this decision?
- Am I considering this because I want to, or because they are pushing for it?
- Have I taken enough time to heal, separate from their influence?
- Do I trust this person, or am I hoping they’ll be different this time?
If your gut is hesitant, listen to it. You’ve been through enough. If they’ve truly changed, they will respect your decision—whatever it may be. 💛
