The Betrayal of Financial Abuse: When Loved Ones Take What Isn’t Theirs

Financial abuse is often an overlooked form of control, yet its impact can be just as devastating as physical or emotional abuse. Many victims only realize the extent of the damage when they start piecing together what has been lost—family heirlooms, valuable possessions, hard-earned savings, and even their sense of security.

The Personal Cost of Betrayal

In my case, the financial exploitation was insidious, creeping into my life under the guise of love and trust. It started subtly, with excuses and manipulations, until suddenly, I found myself stripped of some of my most valuable and sentimental possessions.

One of the most painful suggestions was my mother’s engagement ring—a beautiful and irreplaceable piece with three diamonds, carrying generations of love and family history. That ring was never just jewelry; it was a part of my heritage, a tangible connection to the past. Yet he wanted to take it and sell it reducing something priceless to a mere financial transaction. I gave t to my daughter to keep in the family.

Then there was my Mazda RX8, a car that was rightfully mine but was taken from me, never replaced, and dismissed as though it held no value. Alongside this, part of my pension pot—money that I had worked for, saved for, and relied on for security—was spent without my agreement, recklessly squandered while I was left to believe we were struggling financially.

The Illusion of Scarcity and Control

What made this financial abuse even more insidious was the constant pretense that there was no money. He painted himself as financially strained, tight-fisted in everyday life, while simultaneously exploiting my resources behind my back. It was a cruel contradiction—pleading poverty while secretly benefiting from what was rightfully mine.

Financial abuse thrives on deception and control. It is about making the victim feel dependent, uncertain, and powerless. By keeping money out of reach or making it disappear, an abuser ensures that their victim has fewer means to escape, fewer options, and more reason to stay trapped in the cycle of manipulation.

Recognizing Financial Abuse

Financial abuse is not always as obvious as outright theft. It can take many forms, including:

• Selling or attempting to sell valuable personal items without consent.
• Taking control of bank accounts, pensions, or assets.
• Restricting access to money while freely spending it themselves.
• Forcing a partner to take on debt or depleting their savings.
• Manipulating financial decisions under the pretense of love or care.

Moving Forward: Taking Back Control

Realizing and acknowledging financial abuse is the first step in reclaiming what is rightfully yours. It is painful to confront, but knowledge is power. Seeking legal advice, gathering evidence, and holding those responsible accountable is crucial.

While the material losses hurt, the deeper wound is the betrayal—the realization that someone you trusted and cared for saw your possessions, your history, and your future savings as things they could take for themselves. But reclaiming your power is about more than just the financial aspect; it’s about setting boundaries, asserting your worth, and ensuring that such violations never happen again.

Financial abuse may leave its scars, but it does not define us. We move forward, not just reclaiming what was lost but rebuilding our strength, our security, and our independence.