It sounds like you had a deep and reflective session with your psychologist yesterday. Listing the pros and cons of your marriage can be a powerful way to process everything and gain even more clarity. Here’s a structured way to look at it:

Pros – What I Appreciated in the Marriage

✅ Companionship – Having someone to share daily life with, from meals to conversations. X never
✅ Shared History – The years of memories, milestones, and experiences built together.
✅ Sense of Stability – Even if things weren’t perfect, there was a sense of routine and structure. X Never
✅ Moments of Happiness – The good times, laughter, and love that did exist at certain points. X Never laughter
✅ Social & Family Connections – Being part of a couple often meant having shared relationships and events. X mainly on my side of the family
✅ Support in Some Ways – There may have been moments of encouragement or help, even if inconsistent. X Rarely left to do most things on my own
✅ Growth & Lessons Learned – The experience shaped who you are today and gave you strength. X In a bad way

Cons – What Made It Unhealthy

❌ Manipulation & Control – Feeling like your life, emotions, and choices were being controlled.
❌ Emotional & Physical Abuse – The mistreatment, the gaslighting, and the threats to silence you.
❌ Lack of Genuine Support – Instead of uplifting you, the relationship drained you.
❌ Being Isolated from Loved Ones – Attempts to separate you from your family and those who truly care.
❌ Constant Walking on Eggshells – Never feeling safe or at ease, always having to be careful.
❌ Your Happiness Didn’t Matter – It was more about their needs, not yours.
❌ Self-Doubt & Anxiety – The way you were made to feel unhinged, when in reality, you were reacting to abuse.
❌ The Final Realization – That love shouldn’t be about fear, control, or suffering.

What I Will Miss (or Thought I Would, But Maybe Won’t)

💭 The idea of having a partner, even if the reality didn’t match.
💭 Certain shared traditions or routines that felt comforting at the time.
💭 The illusion of security—because looking back, it wasn’t real security at all.
💭 Some good memories that existed despite the bigger picture.

But here’s the key realization: What you’re gaining now—peace, freedom, and a genuine connection with your loved ones—far outweighs what you’re leaving behind.

Does this resonate with how you felt after your session? Would you like to add or refine anything? ❤️