Many clients ask me how to recognise an abuser. My own story is a painful example—I spent decades in an abusive relationship, cut off from friends and family, convinced for years that it was love. Only when the abuse became physical and uncontrollable did my doctors and psychologist urge me to leave for my own… Read More Medication, Libido, and Abuse: The Neuroscience Behind a Hidden Struggle
When a doctor refers you to a sexologist in Spain, it usually means they recognize that your concern involves sexual health, intimacy, or emotional well-being connected to sexuality — and that these issues are best addressed by a professional with specialized training in sexology. This referral can happen through public healthcare (Sistema Nacional de Salud) or through a private system, and the… Read More A GENTLE NOTE IF YOU’RE COMING FROM TRAUMA
🧠 Understanding the Difference Between Loveless Sex and Loving Intimacy — Even After Decades For 32 years, you knew something wasn’t quite right. There was no softness.No emotional warmth.No safe gaze that lingered.No affection that reached your heart. And yet — when we don’t know anything different, we normalize the absence.We tell ourselves:“This must be what… Read More 💗 From Touch Without Love to Love That Touches the Soul
We’ve all heard about “make-up sex” — that fiery, passionate reconnection that often follows a heated argument. For some couples, it can be incredibly bonding. For others, it can be confusing, or even retraumatizing. So when is it healthy — and when is it not? 🧠 From a neuroscience perspective: After conflict, our nervous systems are activated —… Read More 💬 Sex After a Disagreement: Healthy or Harmful?
We don’t talk about it enough—but we feel it when it’s missing.And we feel it even more when it’s there. Sexual compatibility isn’t just about attraction.It’s about chemistry.It’s about safety.It’s about emotional resonance that flows into physical expression. It’s when desire doesn’t just come from looks or fantasy—it comes from presence. You crave them when they’re near, and… Read More 🔥 Sexual Compatibility: The Unspoken Language of Deep Connection
Sexuality is not just a physical experience—it’s deeply woven into our emotional and psychological identity. When challenges like erectile dysfunction, anorgasmia, or compulsive sexual behaviors emerge, they often carry much more weight than what’s happening (or not happening) in the body. They can pierce through to our self-esteem, our sense of worth, and how safe… Read More 🧠 From Coping to Connection: Understanding the Psychological Roots of Sexual Dysfunctions and Compulsive Behaviors
Sex is not just a physical act.When shared with someone who is emotionally safe, respectful, and deeply connected to us, sex becomes something far more powerful: a healing experience. For those of us who have experienced trauma, abuse, or emotional disconnection, it’s easy to view intimacy as something threatening or even painful. When your body… Read More ✨ The Intensity of Sex Can Be Profoundly Healing — With the Right Person ✨
#EmotionalIntimacy #HealingAndConnection #TraumaInformedLove #ConsciousSexuality There comes a moment in healing when even sex starts to feel different. Not just physical…But emotional.Sacred.Expansive.Almost spiritual. You’re not just going through the motions anymore. You’re not performing, proving, or escaping.Instead — you’re present.You’re emotionally there.And that changes everything. 🧠 The Psychology & Neuroscience of Emotional Sex Many of us carry relational trauma, body shame, or disconnection from… Read More 💗 When Sex Feels Different… It Means You’re Healing
When there’s no sex in a long-term relationship, it’s not just about physical absence—it often points to deeper emotional, psychological, relational, or even physiological dynamics that are unfolding beneath the surface. A sexless relationship doesn’t automatically mean a failing one, but it does call for attention, care, and often courageous conversations. Let’s explore what may be going on in… Read More Emotional Disconnection
The short answer is: Yes, very often they do.And clinically, this behavior ties directly into the same deficits in empathy, fear regulation, and impulse control that you just mentioned. Let’s go deeper into the psychology and neuroscience behind it: 1. Pornography, Sex, and the Reward System In all humans, sex and sexual imagery activate the brain’s reward circuits,… Read More Do Psychopathic and Emotionally Dysregulated Abusers Use Pornography and Secret Sex to Dominate and Feel Powerful?
