If the victim inquires whether the abuser has gone through therapy in the context of fear that the restraining order might be lifted if they return to the house, this indicates a very important concern about safety, accountability, and the potential for the abuser to manipulate the legal system. Here are a few key points… Read More Therapy is Not a Guarantee of Change
Repeated violations of a restraining order, combined with an escalation of behavior, especially after an incident like strangulation, strongly signal danger to the court. Strangulation is a particularly alarming form of abuse because it is a known risk factor for future lethal violence in abusive relationships. When someone has already used strangulation as a method… Read More Dangerous situation
Accountability from the abuser is incredibly important after decades of abuse because it acknowledges the harm they’ve caused and forces them to confront the reality of their actions. For so long, the abuser may have used tactics like gaslighting, manipulation, and coercion to make you feel responsible for their behavior or to make you doubt… Read More Accountability
Abusers often rely on manipulation, charm, and deception to maintain control, but the legal system—especially experienced judges, lawyers, and court officials—has seen it all before. While abusers may fool friends, family, and even some professionals unfamiliar with abusive dynamics, they struggle to maintain their act when facing trained legal experts who have witnessed countless similar… Read More Why Courts and Lawyers See Through an Abuser’s Facade
This message from the abuser’s sister is another classic example of manipulation and gaslighting. It attempts to frame the abuser as the real victim while subtly discrediting the person seeking justice. Let’s break it down. Breaking Down the Message What’s Really Happening? Messages like this aren’t about concern—they’re about: 🔹 Shaming the victim into silence.🔹 Protecting the abuser’s… Read More What’s Really Happening?
The Last-Ditch Manipulation: When Abusers Fear Legal Consequences In the final stages before a legal battle, abusers often attempt one last desperate act of control. The message: “If XXXXXX and I have any future chance together, we must agree on something very soon. If the two trials go ahead, zero chance of getting together. I have… Read More The Last-Ditch Manipulation: When Abusers Fear Legal Consequences
Abusers often escalate their manipulative tactics before a court case, trying to sway public opinion, gain sympathy, and isolate the victim. This is a classic pattern—right before legal consequences or exposure, they scramble to control the narrative. Here’s what’s happening and how to handle it. Why Abusers Ramp It Up Before Court 1. Damage Control: They… Read More Control the narrative.
When someone defends an abuser—even after witnessing the abuse firsthand—it can feel like a deep betrayal. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or acquaintance, their decision to excuse or minimize the abuser’s actions raises serious questions about their integrity. Instead of staying silent, you have the right to call out their hypocrisy. Why Do Some… Read More Calling Out the Hypocrisy: Why Do People Defend Abusers?
This is one of the most painful betrayals—when friends, especially women, defend or support an abuser even after witnessing the abuse firsthand. You’d expect them to stand with the victim, but instead, they downplay, justify, or even side with the abuser. Why does this happen? 1. Fear of the Abuser Abusers don’t just manipulate their victims—they… Read More Fear of the Abuser
Why Do Some Husbands Defend Abusers? It’s deeply painful to see men—especially husbands—defend or side with abusers, even when the evidence is clear. Whether it’s a husband defending a friend, a family member, or even their own abusive behavior, this pattern is disturbingly common. Why does this happen? The answer is complex and often tied… Read More Why Do Some Husbands Defend Abusers?
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 