Hot and Cold

“hot and cold” behavior is one of the clearest patterns of emotional manipulation or inconsistent attachment. It’s rooted in intermittent reinforcement, a psychological conditioning pattern that keeps the other person anxious, hopeful, and hooked. Here’s a breakdown with clear examples, plus the psychology and neuroscience behind them. 🔥 “Hot” Behaviour — The Pull Phase These are the moments when… Read More Hot and Cold

Working with a fully trained psychologist

Psychologists can help you recognize the tactics used by abusers, such as gaslighting, financial control, and emotional manipulation. Understanding these behaviors makes it easier to see that the abuse was not your fault.

They can help you identify patterns across different areas of the relationship that you may not have connected before, revealing the full extent of the control.Hearing a professional confirm, “Yes, this is abuse,” can be profoundly validating, especially if you’ve been gaslit into believing otherwise.

They create a safe space where your feelings, fears, and experiences are acknowledged without judgment.… Read More Working with a fully trained psychologist

Jealousy

If this behavior becomes abusive, or if the person’s jealousy leads to extreme controlling behavior or isolation from your loved ones, it may be necessary to evaluate the relationship more seriously. Sometimes, even with the best intentions, people who engage in this kind of manipulation may not be ready or willing to change, and their behavior could be detrimental to your mental health.… Read More Jealousy

Shaming

Shaming a child into spending time or visiting you is a destructive and selfish act. It involves making the child feel bad or guilty for not meeting an adult’s emotional expectations, which can cause feelings of inadequacy and confusion in the child. For instance, a grandparent might say, “You never visit me, and it makes me feel so lonely,” or “I’m your grandparent, don’t you care about me?” These statements place undue emotional responsibility on the child, making them feel guilty for simply living their own life.

Children are particularly vulnerable to these kinds of emotional tactics because they often have an inherent desire to please the adults in their lives. They don’t yet have the emotional maturity or experience to navigate guilt, and when they are made to feel responsible for a grandparent’s happiness or loneliness, it can create a damaging dynamic. This emotional burden is too heavy for a child to carry, as it forces them to prioritize an adult’s needs over their own developing sense of self.

Grandparents who use this tactic are often unaware of the long-term consequences it can have on the child’s emotional health. Children who grow up feeling pressured to meet the emotional needs of others may struggle with boundary-setting in their future relationships, have low self-esteem, or develop anxiety around disappointing people they care about.… Read More Shaming

The Underworld

At the core of many illegal operations is the deliberate exploitation of vulnerable people. Criminals seek out individuals who are facing personal challenges—often those suffering from mental health issues, experiencing financial instability, or who have left home and are living in precarious conditions. These people, desperate for stability or connection, are more susceptible to manipulation and control.

For those in these situations, the promise of shelter, security, or financial relief is enticing. Criminals exploit these needs, offering material support, a place to belong, and a sense of camaraderie. What initially seems like generosity soon becomes a tool of coercion. As the exploited individual grows dependent on the criminal for basic needs or emotional support, it becomes increasingly difficult to break away.

People struggling with mental health challenges are particularly vulnerable, as their need for care and emotional stability can be leveraged against them. These individuals may be made to feel that they are worthless outside the criminal network or that no one else will help them. Emotional manipulation—whether through affection, threats, or guilt—ensures that they stay loyal, further entrapping them in illegal activities.… Read More The Underworld

A Life Of Grime

Legacy of Crime: If the mother comes from a long line of drug-dealing partners and has experienced cycles of debt and financial instability, her involvement in crime may seem like the only way to survive or thrive. The normalization of criminal behavior in her past could desensitize her to the consequences, making illegal activities feel like a natural extension of her life experience. Instead of seeing crime as a moral or legal violation, it may be viewed as a means to an end—a way to escape poverty and hardship.

Trauma and Resilience: Her past could also be marked by trauma—abusive relationships, financial hardship, or social isolation. These experiences may fuel her decision to participate in illegal activities, believing that this lifestyle offers her control, security, or freedom that she never had before. She may rationalize her involvement as necessary for survival or as a way to protect her family from the struggles she endured.

The Appeal of Wealth and Status: The sudden access to wealth, luxury, and a life she never dreamed of can be incredibly seductive. Living a lifestyle of comfort and luxury can create a false sense of stability, where the material gains overshadow the moral, legal, and emotional costs. For someone who has lived in a world of scarcity and hardship, the lure of a lavish lifestyle can cloud judgment, making it easier to overlook the criminality of her actions.… Read More A Life Of Grime

The Role of Law Enforcement and Child Protection

Early Exposure to Illegality: Children growing up in a drug-dealing environment are often exposed to illegal activities at a very young age. They might witness drug transactions, see large amounts of money exchanging hands, or become aware of illicit behavior that most children would never encounter. This exposure blurs the lines between right and wrong for them, making criminal behavior appear normal or even necessary for survival.

Glamorization of Crime: The wealth, status, and material rewards that often come with drug dealing can make the lifestyle seem glamorous. Expensive clothes, flashy cars, and a constant flow of money can create the illusion that crime leads to success. For children, especially teenagers, this can be enticing. They may aspire to replicate what they see in their parents or older siblings, believing that engaging in the drug trade is an acceptable or even admirable path to success.… Read More The Role of Law Enforcement and Child Protection

Favoritism and Sibling Rivalry

Taking someone’s personal belongings without permission and redistributing them to another child reflects a serious lack of empathy, care, and respect for the teenager involved. This behavior can be a form of emotional abuse, where the person taking the items seeks to exert control, humiliate, or emotionally harm the victim.

For a teenager, personal belongings—whether it’s an Xbox, clothes, birthday presents, or everyday items like shoes—represent more than material things. These are expressions of their identity, security, and sense of ownership in the world. Stripping these away undermines their autonomy and can lead to feelings of powerlessness and worthlessness.… Read More Favoritism and Sibling Rivalry