This usually has far more to do with them than with you. Common reasons include: 1. Emotional self-absorption (not always malicious, but still harmful) Some people live almost entirely inside their own stress, routines, and narratives. When something doesn’t directly touch their world, they don’t register it — even when it should. 2. Avoidance of discomfort… Read More Why some long-term people don’t check in
What real support feels like (not perfect, but safe) Supportive friends and family tend to: They don’t need the full story. Belief and steadiness matter more than details. Why accepting support can feel so hard after abuse If you’ve lived with coercive control, your nervous system may: That isn’t independence — it’s conditioned self-silencing. Letting safe… Read More Support
Christmas can be one of the hardest times when you’re going through a divorce involving domestic abuse. What’s supposed to feel warm and safe often becomes the season where control, grief, and loneliness feel amplified. None of that means you’re failing — it means your nervous system has been through trauma. Here’s what’s actually going on, and how to… Read More Trauma doesn’t take holidays
Dating apps aren’t inherently bad — but they are highly efficient environments for deception. They allow people to present a carefully curated version of themselves with very little accountability, history, or social consequence. And that creates opportunity — not just for romance, but for manipulation. Who Thrives on Dating Apps (and Why) Dating apps are especially attractive… Read More The Hidden Dangers of Dating Apps: Con Men, Pretenders, and Emotional Fraud
Sometimes partners don’t want to spend the holidays together — but the reasons can vary. Here’s how to tell the difference between benign circumstances and potential emotional manipulation: Benign Reasons ✅ Key sign: They communicate openly, show effort to celebrate together another way, and acknowledge your feelings. Red Flags / Emotional Manipulation ⚠️ Key sign: Their absence leaves… Read More Red Flags / Emotional Manipulation
There can be many reasons a partner might not want to spend Christmas with you, ranging from personal circumstances to relationship dynamics. Here’s a trauma-informed, psychology-based breakdown of common factors: 1. Emotional Avoidance 2. Relationship Dynamics 3. Control or Manipulation 4. Personal Circumstances 5. Emotional Immaturity or Self-Centeredness 6. Pattern Recognition Reflection
Ever notice how some people keep ending up in the same kind of unhealthy relationships, making similar mistakes, or choosing situations that feel familiar — even if they hurt? That’s what psychologists call repetition compulsion. It’s a concept from psychodynamic therapy that explains how our past experiences, especially early trauma, can unconsciously influence our choices today. How It… Read More Repetition Compulsion: Why We Keep Repeating the Same Patterns
Definition:Repetition compulsion is a concept introduced by Sigmund Freud in psychoanalytic theory. It refers to the tendency of individuals to repeat behaviors, situations, or relationships that mirror unresolved conflicts or traumatic experiences from the past, often unconsciously. How It Manifests Example:A person who grew up with inconsistent parental care may unconsciously seek partners who are emotionally unavailable,… Read More Repetition Compulsion in Psychodynamic Therapy
In Spain, a restraining order is called an “Orden de Protección” (Protection Order) or sometimes a “Medida de Protección” in legal documents related to domestic violence (Violencia de Género). What It Is and What It Does Travel Safety Reminder Important Documents to Keep with You Being prepared with your Protection Order and other key documents ensures your legal protection and safety even when… Read More Important Documents to Keep with YouI
Before You Leave Spain:✅ Inform the Guardia Civil of your travel plans (departure date, destination, expected return).✅ Confirm that your restraining order and VIOGEN protections remain active until departure.✅ Fully charge your VIOGEN phone/device and test emergency numbers.✅ Pack essential items: ID, important documents, medications, and emergency contacts.✅ Avoid posting travel details publicly on social media.✅ Prepare a safety… Read More Holiday Travel Safety Checklist for Women under VIOGEN with Restraining Orders
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 