True Change

True change is deeply personal and has to come from within. People can only transform when they have the desire and motivation to do so. External pressure or attempts to change someone against their will often lead to resistance or temporary adjustments, rather than meaningful or lasting shifts.

In trauma therapy, neuroscience, and emotional intelligence, this principle is central. When a person decides to change for their own reasons, they tap into intrinsic motivation, which is far more powerful and sustainable than external forces. It’s the difference between feeling obligated and genuinely wanting something different for oneself.

Accepting this reality can be tough, especially when you care deeply about someone and see their potential for growth. But the most supportive thing you can do is to create a safe space, offer unconditional acceptance, and trust their journey. Sometimes, simply being there for them is the most powerful catalyst for their decision to change when they’re ready.

Empathy and patience go a long way in this process. People aren’t projects to be fixed; they’re human beings with their own struggles, experiences, and timing. Accepting them as they are—while holding space for the possibility of growth—can be a transformative act of love and respect.

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